Hallelujah
by Satineladiamant
Summary: Set shortly after Satine tells Christian she doesn't really love him...Christian reflects on the hurt she's caused him. It's a songfic. All reviews welcome, but I really don't think it's the best thing I've written.


Well, I swore I'd never write a songfic...now, my second story here, look what I've done...whoops. This begins shortly before the scene in which Toulouse enters Christian's garret and the "I know she loves you..." "GO AWAY!" scene ensues. 

Using random verses from the song, "Hallelujah" from Shrek, which is a surprisingly disturbing song for a children's film :-S 

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters from Moulin Rouge (but I can dream, can't I?), they are property of Baz Lurhmann *plots schemes to get Lurhmann to marry her*, or the song Hallelujah, which is owned by Leonard Cohen, and probably also by Dreamworks. Yada Yada Yada. Disclaimer over. You can wake up now. 

--+---------------------------------------------+-- 

It couldn't be true. It couldn't. But it was. What had the Duke done to entice her in that way? Christian didn't know. All he knew was that somehow, somewhere along the line, Satine had stopped loving him. And he couldn't bear it. Over the past few days, Satine had withdrawn into herself. And he hadn't known why. 

_There was a time you let me know_

_What's really going on below_

_But now you never show it to me, do you?_

_I remember when I moved in you_

_And the holy dove was moving too_

_And every breath we drew was Hallelujah_

Of course, now it seemed obvious. She didn't love him at all. _That_ was why she seemed to have changed. She was a whore, that was all, a common whore. When she tired of one customer, she moved on. But it had seemed so real, and he'd been taken in. Gullible. That was all he was. Gullible. She'd been using him. Using him until someone better came along. He'd been so innocent when he'd first come to Paris...she'd taken advantage of that and sucked him in. He'd been overwhelmed by her that first night...her beauty, her talent...it had been too much. And she'd seen that and pretended she'd loved him too. Now... 

Well, now she'd hurt him, hadn't she? He should have seen it coming. 

_Your faith was strong, but you needed proof_

_You saw her bathing on the roof_

_Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you_

_She tied you_

_To a kitchen chair_

_She broke your throne, she cut your hair_

_And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

__

He went to the window and gazed at the windmill that seemed to taunt him with its very presence. He could see little of what was happening inside, but he guessed they were still working on Spectacular Spectacular -_his_ show- as though nothing had changed. He could see it in his mind's eye...Satine in her long, dark dress, Zidler speaking his lines in his deep, loud voice, and the Duke -_the Duke_- overseeing everything. Just as everything had been before. Except it all seemed so different now that he was on his own again. 

_Baby I've been here before, I know this room_

_I've walked this floor_

_I used to live alone before I knew you_

_I've seen your flag on the Marble Arch_

_Love is not a victory march_

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

__

__He hated her. Hated her. His first love...and his only love. He'd never be taken in like that again. _Never_. He'd been an idiot to think it could have lasted. Love...what was love?Perhaps the Duke had been right all along. _A lifetime of security- **that's** real love_. 

A lifetime of security. You couldn't get much less secure than falling in love with a courtesan, could you? He'd been so stupid. Well, it was never going to happen again. Never. 

_Maybe there's a God above, all I ever learned from love_

_Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you_

_And it's not a cry you can hear at night_

_It's not somebody who's seen the light_

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

__

__But he had loved her so much. He'd wanted to be with her all the time, and when he couldn't be with her, he'd be daydreaming about her...all the time, he'd wanted to touch her, to place his hand on hers, to hold her and never let go. Even to brush against her accidentally had been a thrill. And he'd thought she felt the same. The way she looked at him, the way she'd spoken to him...like nothing he'd ever known. And it had been a facade. All another of Satine's shows. 

But what a very good actress she'd been. __

__


End file.
